Don't read this if you watch the new Cinderella movie and you love it because you will hate me after reading this. Also, this review contains spoilers!
Just to be clear, I have no hatred for Disney movies. In fact, I love Tangled and I still watch it when I'm bored and in need of some fresh change of stories. I love fairies and the songs the princess sings and even the villain
(that's like the best part of any stories). I don't even hate princes that much. Let me tell you what I do loathe. I hate movies that were produced to lure unsuspected victims into watching the movie with promises of excitement and magic and then it turns out to be not. Seriously, this movie was so boring that I felt like crying. I keep waiting to feel the exhilaration but nothing came. I might not hate this movie if it was done any other way but instead, it follows the fairy tale on every turn, even the cheesiest goddamn part! Also, it was painfully obvious the colour theme for the movie is blue. It was everywhere!
The scene that really get to me the most is when Ella and the prince was at the swing and they were like:
Prince: Please, have a seat.
Ella: Oh no, no thank you.
Prince: No, seat please!
Ella: But, I musn't!
Prince: But you have to seat!
Ella: Okay, thank you!
It went something like that. You can't expect me to remember the lines perfectly now, do you? It grates on my nerve so much! I was like "just f***in " sit already!". I may have said that out loud in the cinema.
Also, I think Ella's name turning to Cinderella was such unoriginal idea. I don't remember if Cinderella's name was ever an issue in the original Grimm or the modern take of the fairy tale but it's not a new idea because I have watched a lot of different rendition of the popular fairy tale. So, I wasn't too happy when the two bobble head step-sisters "brilliantly" came up with the name for Ella. I was like rolling my eyes and saying "of course!".
It's amazing how different the affect of the Cinderella movie cartoon and when it is played by humans. I don't know if I'm alone in feeling this. I hope not. The thing is, in the cartoon, Cinderella and the mice was actually interacting. They might not understand each other verbally but it was apparent that the mice understood and was friends to Cinderella by the way they helped Cinderella make the dress and even hanging around with Cinderella when she was working away. Also, when she sings, there sure will be birds duet-ing with her. In the human version movie. the connection was lost between Ella and the animals. The movie do highlights the cute black eyes of the mice
(they are actually kind of cute) and how they helped her open a window (it was an important moment) but there weren't real enough connection to signify the understanding between Ella and the animals. Everytime Ella talks to the mice like an equal, the only thoughts that flying around my head was one sentence:
She's gone bonkers! (I've always wanted to use that word! :D)
I know it's a gift of some sort but from how she was talking and behaving about it, she looks and sounds senile! There was this scene where she saved a moose from being hunted by the prince and she was like:
Ella:You scared the moose!
Why do you want to kill the moose?
What harm did he ever did to you!
Prince: But, I am hunting, That's what's done, you see.
Ella: Just because it's what's done doesn't mean it should be done.
Her moment to be philosophical was untimely and I can't help myself but say "Bitch, get yourself shot!". What's worst, the prince thought it was endearing! He looks at her like she just said something so genius and the awe in his face made me want to punch him and break his nose.
When the prince lied and let Ella assumed he was merely an apprentice, I find that Ella is so stupid
(Not that I hadn't known earlier. I was just proven right.). It was glaringly obvious that the prince was wearing garments that look expensive and he is well groomed
(he has to have a large sum of money to look that good! Baths and nice clothes was huge privileges in the olden times.). There was a guy who almost called him Your Highness but he only managed to say "Your High-" before he was cut off by the prince. Yet, Ella didn't even feel suspicious by this. So, in the short time that they have met, the two of them inexplicably fell in love at freakin first sight!
The relationship of Ella and Kit (the prince) was hilarious. It seems like Kit love Ella for her stupidity that I assumed he thinks as "strangely insightful" and perhaps her naivety as "adorable" which she is clearly not. She's just plain stupid. I think Kit just wants to get laid. There were scenes where Ella was talking so naively stupid and Kit was like "Omg, that is so true! You are like so clever!". I can't freakin even!!
(I'm so mad I'm using two exclamation.)
One of the thing that I looked forward to was the dance at the ball between Ella and the prince. There was one moment in the trailer
(I saw the trailer on tv. I can't find similar trailer online.) where Ella's dress swished widely and it looked so pretty and magical! So, imagine my disappointment when the moment finally comes, it only lasted for about a second! I do understand that I shouldn't have expected the dress to stay in the air for like one minute but they could have made the motion slower or somehting. Besides, in the trailer, it looks so magical! In the movie, it was an insignificant move!
The only thing or rather someone that I love in the movie was the Fairy Godmother! It's Helena Bonham Carter! But, like other good things that did exist in the movie, she only appeared for a short while.
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| It's Bellatrix in an alternate universe! |
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| But, I like her better this way! |
This reminds me, when the Godmother show herself as an old hag inside Ella's house or mansion or whatever, Ella didn't find that strange at all. Let me repeat in case you didn't catch that,
inside the house! She was already inside the house! Ella didn't even find it strange that a stranger was already sitting in her house nevermind the fact that she shouldn't even be there in the first place because the house was closed to everyone outside and all the workers were sent home. Ella is so gullible. I have a sense that she wouldn't even survive one day in our world.
After reading all of this, you might be thinking
(or yelling at me) that "This is a Disney movie for god's sake! What are you expecting!" However, I'd like to say that they could have make the story a little better. Look at Maleficent and Tangled, to name a few. That was good and different takes to the old fairy tale. I don't know why the director feel the need to make a new movie of an old story when it was already done before! This new production of Cinderella can never replaced the feeling and tingles I still get when watching Disney's classic animated version of Cinderella.
I guess I would have been more forgiving if the movie wasn't so easily foreseeable. I guess that's inevitable when you have watch a lot of other takes of the same story but the thing is, other takes of the Cinderella fairy tale have their own twists. However, this movie followed the fairy tale very closely so it was maddening when I know what was coming and hoping I would be wrong and I wasn't! I know what was coming every second and frames of the movie. Now, I understand what it likes to be a seer, to know everything or everyone that was coming.
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